Sunday, August 28, 2011

Sixteen Revisited

shell fragment mementos
hold in me pointing the compass in
every direction

splitting hairs and
debating the wind inside an aquarium
all thumbs to some final species
that can observe itself

changing I hide within nature  
expecting tragedy to teach something

under moonlit hydrogen
bandaging together thought



rivercat said...

sorry for lack of comments and blog visits and rep;ies.

Whatever said...

how memories can make something new in hindsight.
I still believe that tragedy can be tender too
and the things that we don't say because they don't fit,
or just because they do rhyme
and thats not what I do
But I don't want to hold it all together
I'm all for letting go.

erin said...

last two stanzas! ARGH! (that's so awfully good, i lack words.)


saraht said...

This is wonderful. xo

Madhulika said...

Loved the way you started it :) :)

Eva said...

"under moonlit hydrogen"

I love the image this put in my mind.

Jyoti Mishra said...

changing I hide within nature .....
this is so intense.

Nice read !!!

zonedin said...

You know what? Your words just always amaze me how you put them together. I wish I had more time to properly respond, but I will get there..Hope your mom is doing ok...mine is in the hospital again...but pressin' to you soon.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I miss you.


Philosophia said...

this is amazing.

my favourite: changing I hide within nature
expecting tragedy to teach something


Psycho Babbling Basher said...

Hello River, as my way of showing how much I love and appreciate your poetry, please check this out.
You have just been TAGGED!

mhairi! said...

Hiding in nature is so typical of any writer or poet. We're so good at it now we don't spot us doing it by accident. It's never on purpose, these days.

But your compass will guide you, there's not a chance that it could fail. If it points every direction does that mean that any way is right or that it wants you to make the first move?

My Papa always said to me, "let the water breathe on it's own, this is not your concern."

I miss you and I hope you're well x

zonedin said...

I just want you to know that my mom passed away this morning...I hope your mom is doing better than that..It's been a rough week, but I wish I knew how you are doing? wishing you peace and love.

Anna Sergi said...

expecting tragedy to teach something that tragedy at all?

roseanna2u said...

Somehow this seems very much like how I feel lately about things. <3

rivercat said...

hi everyone thanks for all the nice comments! I moved for awhile after taking my mom up to NYC on the sleeper train ( she can't fly)to see some doctors up here for her CHF ..unfortunately she got pneumonia and then a staff infection and I got a hernia a few days ago so im staying longer than I had planned. Now I have to have an operation myself but they tell me its only a day in the hospital.
I had a genetic weakness they tell me and its very common and doesnt hurt . Of course i freaked out but it has to be fixed so I am going to go to do that uphere next week and hopefully return a
few weeks later and get back to florida
zoned, Im sorry to hear your Mom passed away. My moms heart is hanging in there but could go at any time they tell me. They have to do tests to see if its even possible to fix because it may be too far gone now that she waited. my brothers wife works in a hospitalup here and talked my mom into coming up.She thinks they have the best heart doctors here.

well,I likely wont be posting much any time soon but miss everyone and all your blogs :)

rivercat said...

ps- i tried to post on a couple blogs and it says this account cant post and to sign in, buy im already signed in! i dont know if its this computer here or what but it seems i can only comment on my own blog!!

The Dreamer said...


Anonymous said...

This will explain the problem in blogger and how to fix it.

rivercat said...

thanks dreamer and anon. I'll look into that blog when I get a chance.
It sounds complicated!

zonedin said...

I'm so sorry Rivercat for your health issues too on top of worrying for your mom. For me it was 4 days of intense hospital stay in a recliner chair next to my mom..It's really important for someone to be by a person's side in the hospital if they cannot speak or move their hands. I'm so glad I was able to be I am staying in VA for a while to take care of the estate issues. I am the only child and there is a little mess to deal with here.
I will talk to you here if it's the only way you can communicate with us. I'm going to post a few new things soon, but first writing a Eulogy and doing powerpoint tribute to mom's life.
Take care of yourself!

rivercat said...

best wishes with all that, I am hoping i wont be doing that anytime really soon but I am trying to prepare for the worst just in case.Yes theres a lot that has to be done usually , especially if youre the executor in the will and hopefully it doesnt become a courtroom battle
somehow too. I am preparing mentally for my surgery now and my mom is waiting on some test results.
Im looking forward to getting this over with and moving on to the next problem that comes up.:)

zonedin said...

Thank you Rivercat. The funeral turned out beautiful and so many people came to share their love and words. Now the messy work to do, but I'm the only heir. I now have a horse ranch in Virginia that I cannot afford. I'm going to try and rent it. I wish I could stay here and just relax, but my job is waiting for me in California.
I really hope that your health gets back on track and your mom, makes it through all this trauma.... I'm thinking of you tonight;~)

rivercat said...

glad to hear everything went ok.
my moms aortic valve cant be fixwd
anymore according to the scans so we arefocuing on how to have the most comfortable last years. I asked her to move in and take care of her so she doesnt have to go in a nursing home and shes deciding what to do. she could afford a nice one but it seems too depressing to me to be alone like that
im going for surgery tomorrow and wont be around for some time.
The truth is that hernia recovery is painful and takes a couple of weeks i hear now
the horse ranch sounds cool.
maybe that is a good idea to rent it out to someone who loves horses and the country life.

zonedin said...

I hope your surgery goes well and maybe it won't give you as much pain as is possible. You've been taking care of yourself, right? I have no idea what a hernia surgery entails. I've never had any invasive surgery like that..only radial keratotomoy and the eyes don't feel pain. (only the surrounding areas do)

If your mom elects the nursing facility, don't worry, there are nice ones and they have lots of activities and such. My grandma prefers the facility, because she likes talking with people

My mom elected to remain in the hospital for her comfort care, but it was only four days. She just felt better being near people who could help her immediately....It came in handy on the last two days when she started needing morphene and more often. The hospital is where she wanted to be and the room was really nice..I stayed there the entire days and nights. The other benefit that I'm sure she was not thinking of is that if she died in the house that would have complicated the ability to get tenants or buyers, but it really doesn't have to.

My thoughts and prayers are going to be with you these next few weeks. If I could share the beauty of this place with you, I would, just to get your mind off the pain. I had to say good-bye to mom's horses yesterday. They are the sweetest horses..I love them. One day i will make this a vacation home...that is my hope.

Rest easy and come back soon;~)