Saturday, April 9, 2011

We Saw The Sun Break Through The Sky

.



Each night
the air
 trusted the sun
to turn her
sky

But when the
wind complained
last night
hiding the moon
and rain 
chanting
we grew
scared and confused
knowing  what was
at stake

We knew without light
we could not live, but we also
knew we had to trust the dark
So we moved below
 the skin's unimportance
and trusted our seeing
to the dragon's eye

And we held together
through the stormy weather
until  the sun
broke through
the sky.
.
.


.

.
*Dragon's Eye - love, wisdom, power
  compassion & understanding. Sometimes represented with the triangle symbol.

21 comments:

Simran said...

Beautiful poem :)

tywo said...

You make me fall in love.
I wish you a wonderful weekend.


LOVE!

roseanna2u said...

This is so beautiful. Is that a ladybug on the circle? I LOVE ladybugs! <3

The Dreamer said...

so simple, but so full of meaning <3

Linda said...

now this is special!

rivercat said...

I changed the title and a bunch of lines. You guys are really nice and thnx for the comments. I hope I didnt make it worse. Writing them online is the best way for me because it pressures me to try and make my message clearer, but the poem changes a lot in the hour or so I write it THNX!!
..and yes, that's a ladybug in the sun :)

Anna Sergi said...

below the skin's unimportance

Love it.

dead-girl said...

i love the dragon's eye it makes the whole poem work so good. :)

Psycho Babbling Basher said...

Great piece River. I love the words and the matching drawing. It feels so harmonized.

rivercat said...

i may need some feeback as to whether this is finished looking or not, i keep changing it and am seriosly beginning to wonder whats wrong with me , meaning why do i keep changing this ?? really weird...
thnx PBB! i wonder if thisever happened to anyone else and why it does ?

juniper said...

yesyesyes.

no words to describe the emotions all this brought out in me. this is perfection.

rivercat said...

juniper,thnx... I have a problem sometimes with the ryhmes that are like da de da de da de dum,
da da de da da da de DUMB!

but it is possible that I have to get it out of m system or something

Dead and Anna, thanks for comments. :)

zonedin said...

I love the "trusting in the dark" part...like the metamorphosis of a ladybug. And have you seen the clusters of ladybugs in a nest? There are thousands of them all huddled together as they embrace the changes that will happen without choice on their part. Then one warm sunny day, they will all fly away to a new home.

rivercat said...

yes, I like most bugs but some are kind of scary. I had a ladybug kit when I was a kid, I dont know if they sill have them but probably do. The boxelders are real huddle bugs down here and will be all over the in the summer.
This was about the boxelders more than the lone ladybug on the sun flower. I put bone legs on them so it is a little hard to see thats what they are in the painting. :)

zonedin said...

I think I've seen those beetlelike bugs around our yard. Are they really red or brown? I thought the legs looked like stiff frog legs. I'm now trying to figure out what bone that is. Very cool though!;~)

rivercat said...

they are red, black, dark brown and red and black. The rarest are the red ones and I think of them as love bugs, ( not THE love bugs). That's where I got the idea for this from. Yes, they have cool legs in real life...That's kind of made up from a fircula or wishbone ida and tibia bones, but they arent real or anything, just something I thought looked cool :)

Anna Sergi said...

We knew without light
we could not live, but we also
knew we had to trust the dark
So we moved below
the skin's unimportance
and trusted our seeing
to the dragon's eye

This is all I want in a relationship.

juniper said...

HJFAASBJBASF!!

rivercatttttttt, i can't do rhymes either. it's why i write in blank verse most of the time. if i try to rhyme the words just end up sounding forced and a thousand miles from where i need them to be because i've had to use a synonym to fit the rhyme scheme. :/

ALSOOOO, i love these edits! i really really really admire writers who can go back and re-do and continuously edit their work. for me i just write and then just kind of...leave it. i never have the heart to come back and change it. so, basically, i am LOVING THIS NOW.

<3

rivercat said...

Anna, thnx, it seems they fly apart without

juniper, thnx, i think i overdid this one with 25 edits or so but it was a learning experience for sure. the rhyming im still trying to understand. it doesnt feel perfectly right on my "through me" post (2nd stanza), but i wonder if the syllable stress rhymers ever do. Luckily i didnt haveto go on a synonym safari :)

4 those who care said...

there is knot that binds those who believe in love. this knot is nothing but trust , faith and confidence that you can rise when you are lying in debri. beautiful write up!

rivercat said...

thnx for those who care, this one was a struggle to write so I appreciate your comments. I came so close to deleting it but Im glad to see a few people that liked it . :)