Thursday, November 11, 2010

Freudian Trip

Occasionally I try to give some attention to random ideas and imagery. The thought that I've become only the promise, hope, or desire to find, get, or achieve something concrete, can be a real downer to the creative spirit. So a little while ago I closed my eyes and thought about whatever thoughts or images came into my mind and I tried to remember them without opening my eyes to write anything down.
I first found myself trudging through a dark swamp with my arms and legs fighting to get free of this sticky black goo which covered everything. It stuck to my body as I moved forward and it reminded me of when you pull chewed gum apart with your fingers to see how thin it gets before, as an almost invisible, elongated filament, it finally can't be stretched any longer and reluctantly divides into two stringy pieces. ( A few days after writing this post I got curious and I tried pulling apart a couple Trident White squares I was chewing on. I was really surprised that the gum stretched out a lot longer than I imagined it would. I had to reel it in, like a fishing line, over each hand as it kept expanding, longer in length than my outstretched arms. Luckily the Trident gum isn't very sticky. Well, back to the swamp...) As I mucked through, I was pushing away brush and sticks, and stumbling over half sunken stumps. Then I was transported into a comparatively sterile setting. I was a manilla file folder, thumb thick full of papers, leaning on and bending in against the side of an office cabinet, slipping slowly over months and years, downward onto the countertop, weakened by passing time and succumbing to the gentle tug of gravity. It was clear that the office had been abandoned before I was filed away properly into the cabinet where I belonged. Everything around me was skinned over in the disgusting office dust I remember seeing and wondering about when I worked in an office a few years ago. The swamp imagery then returned but to the back of my mind only, like wallpaper, becomeing a toned down, muted version of my previous encounter in the swamp, but running over and over again in a continuous loop. It seemed like I was able to be in two places at once. I last remember being an empty scabbard hanging on the rope belt of a shipwrecked pirate. After realizing that I was an empty scabbard I felt a longing for the knife to return.

8 comments:

zonedin said...

It's so interesting what visions come to the mind when we stop to look. I need to do that more, again. I had a dream of walking through really thick mud a while back. It was so frustrating taking each step...I woke up frustrated and the feeling of not getting anywhere lasted the whole day.

rivercat said...

My Dad is a psychiatrist with focus on the elderly. I read a lot of psych books growing up.
Dream interpretation seems too messy so I buy into the rehearsal theory that dreams keep the mind/body tuned using events to practice with.
...but i like all the different theories and havent written them completely off. This post is about somebody's life during analysis. Its pretty straitforward. A struggle to get started, disspointment in middle age, and then loneliness at the end. Very upbeat lol! Seriously I just tried to have some fun as this was my first post that wasn't a poem.

zonedin said...

I used to keep a dream journal. I learned so much from it when I had a professional helping me,then I started getting good at it on my own, then he said I didn't need him any more, then I quit keeping the journal. But it takes time in the mornings which I haven't had, but I've written down a few this past year and I want to make time for it again. It's just fun!

rivercat said...

lately, I have had the intention of writing down my dreams but unfortunately dont remember a single one of them. Only if I am asleep somewhere away from a pen and paper do I remember one.

zonedin said...

Sometimes they are so crazy and hard to describe with words, so I just pull out the parts that I can. It's never the whole thing. Just a simplified version.

rivercat said...

did you ever write anything based on a dream you recorded?

zonedin said...

Not professionally, but for fun I did. I might look at those again..if I can find that notebook.

rivercat said...

I finally remembered a dream avout eating a lot of delicious cookies. I felt bad in the dream because I ate about 20 but they were so amazing I couldnt stop till they were all gone. Now you know me lol!